You'll Never Get Me Alive
by Peace Love and Frerard
Summary: Multi-chapter frerard, written for @MyIcyBlues on twitter... enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

I shut my eyes as I felt my back come into contact with the wall behind me, heard Sam hissing the same old abuse in my ear, felt him hit me hard in the chest, felt a hand reaching into my pocket. I opened my eyes to see my ipod dangling in front of my face. I reached up to grab it out of the taller boy's hand, but he let go of it, letting it fall to the ground, pulling out the headphones that were blasting music into my ears. Music. The only thing that was able to conserve even a little of my sanity. It was gone, and all I could hear was the laughter coming from the people around me, and my ipod smacked on the ground, cracking the screen, and a foot descended upon it, smashing it into pieces. I stared at it, blinking back tears.

"Come on then you faggot. You gonna put up a fight? Am I gonna have to teach you that you're a worthless piece of shit or have you already picked that up?" he snarled at me. I kept my head down, not daring to look at any of them. "Well you're not as stupid as you look, Iero." he spat at me, before grabbing the front of my shirt and pulling me up to look at him face to face, but I continued looking down. "Fucking look at me." he demanded. Reluctantly, I slowly raised my eyes to meet his, filled with venom and hate, his lips twisted into a smirk.

"You wanna go home and cry to mummy?" he asked patronisingly, knowing the pain he was causing within me as he uttered the last word. "Oh wait, you can't, she fucking killed herself." He knew exactly how much that low blow hurt, but he had no idea that fifteen years worth of abuse were boiling up inside of me. My hands flexed at my sides, itching to attack him. Without even thinking about it, one of my hands secured around his throat.

I sat slumped in the chair opposite the principle's desk, still shaking with rage, covered in both my own and Sam's blood, tears still running down my face. I stared at my feet, trying to calm myself down.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING!" the principle shouted.

"He... he was..." I couldn't manage a sentence, my throat was too choked up.

"HE WAS WHAT? COME ON, I'D LIKE TO HEAR YOUR EXCUSE THIS TIME."

"He was talking about... my mum." I finally muttered.

He sighed, not sympathetic, just disapproving. "You don't think you over reacted a little?"

"I think most people would have reacted the same way, taking into account everything else he says and does to me." I said through clenched teeth, still staring intently at my shoelaces.

"If there have been other incidents, you should have told someone while it was happening. I'm talking to you about what happened about twenty minutes ago. So Sam made a comment about your mother, obviously it's a sensitive topic for you but he's now in hospital and you'll be expelled if I don't hear a good excuse from you in the next thirty seconds." he said, folding his arms over his chest. Now I looked up at him, my mouth hanging open.

"Expelled?" I repeated in shock.

"Yes, I'm sure I don't need to remind you that there have been several other similar incidents."

"You just told me this is about what happened just now, not about anything else."

"It's up to me to take into consideration the other incidents."

"Fine." was all I could manage to say, before I began crying again. I felt so pathetic, sobbing as he glared down at me. You'd think I'd be used to rejection by now. My dad arrived about five minutes later. To my relief, my dad didn't look overly angry, which is a change for my dad, but the look he gave me was not one a loving father gives to a son. I managed to avoid making any communication with my dad while he was talking to the principle, and all the way out of school, until we got to his car. He looked at me once we were both sitting inside. I was expecting him to shout at me at least a little bit.

"I would have thought you'd be over all this by now, Frank." was all he said.


	2. Chapter 2

"W-what?" I asked shakily, fighting back more tears.

"It's been fifteen years. I bet you can't even remember her. You can't or you wouldn't worship her like she was some kind of fucking goddess. Your mother never cared about you and she was a waste of space, forget about her."

The harshness of these words shocked me, I felt as if he'd hit me round the face. Again I stared at him, trying to prove him wrong, trying to find something to say back, but there was only one thing in my head that I was clinging on to. "But she was my mum... all mums care about their kids... right?"

"No, Frank. She never gave a shit about you, she was too wrapped up in her own problems to worry about anyone else, whether she had responsibility for them or not. She was too concerned with how she was gonna get money for her next fix to think about you."

"D-don't say that." I stuttered, staring in front of me.

"You need to hear the truth, and you need to learn to accept it." he said, starting up the car. Surprisingly, he wasn't angry. He was actually talking to me in a fairly civilised way, for a change. "And unfortunately, that's the truth. Maybe now you won't take those comments so personally." I wondered why he was telling me this rather than shouting at me about getting expelled, but I wasn't complaining. He didn't seem angry at all.

"It's kind of a bit late now though." I muttered.

"We were thinking about taking you out of that school anyway. It's not a great school and we know you're not happy. Me and Hayley have been talking about moving house."

My face fell and I looked round at him. "Moving? Where to?"

"New Jersey. I've been offered a job there. I wasn't going to but now you're not in that school any more, I think I might take it."

I gaped at him. Not only was Jersey a shitty place, it was hours away.

"Don't tell me you like it here." my dad said, frowning.

"But... but Dan's here." I whispered. My dad rolled his eyes.

"I guess you'll have to live with it." his voice became slightly more aggressive. I knew he didn't approve of me having a boyfriend at all, let alone one like Dan.

I got a text from Dan once I got in, to tell me he would be round. He said he'd be half an hour, so I got changed and cleaned off as much of the blood as I could. The doorbell rang just as I was pulling my shirt on, and my dad called upstairs a few moments later. I figured it would be Dan. I appeared at the top of the stairs and beckoned for him to come up, and he followed me into my room. I could understand why my dad disliked him. For a start, he was three years older than me, which didn't make a good impression, and the fact he didn't have a job didn't help. He also looked like the kind of person my dad would murder if given the chance – he had several tattoos up his arms and had a few piercings, and had dyed his fringe bright blue. My dad disapproved of my lip ring enough. We kissed for a few moments, then he sat down on my bed.

"God, I've had a shit day." he sighed. I didn't feel much sympathy towards him, but I knew I wouldn't get a chance to tell him about my day.

"Aww." I said half-heartedly, leaning against him, hoping he would just settle for cuddling today. I was too tired. He looked down at me expectantly, silently asking me what the fuck I was waiting for. I realised I wouldn't be that lucky, beginning to undo his belt. I made a fairly slow job of undoing his belt and jeans, hoping there would be some kind of interruption, but I knew I would have to do this at some point. I pulled down his boxers and placed my hand around his length, wondering how many times I had done this to him in comparison to the amount of times he had returned the favour. I sighed, and he looked up at me.

"What's up with you?"

"I'm tired." I shrugged, stopping my movement.

"Don't fucking stop." he said, almost angrily, disregarding my reply. I resumed, looking up at him as he bit his lip, although, it appeared, in thought rather than pleasure. "If you're lucky maybe I'll... y'know." he said, like he was being the most generous person the world had ever known. He was far from it. I thanked him anyway, before replacing my hand with my mouth once he was hard.

We sat on my bed and watched a film for the rest of the evening, and for the last half hour of it Dan kept dropping heavy hints that he wanted to stay round tonight, so I offered once the credits began rolling up the screen. It had only been a month and a half since we started going out, but this had already become a routine that we rehearsed at least twice a week. It wasn't that I didn't like Dan, he was just so controlling, but without even directly asking me to do things. I found it difficult to say no to people, and with Dan it was even worse because there was the (in my mind very probable) chance that he would split up with me, and I didn't want that. The only reason I ever sucked him off in the first place was to make sure he didn't leave me. It's not what you would call a stable relationship to say the least. We hadn't actually had sex yet, but I had a feeling it wouldn't be long before I felt I had to... or maybe not, seeing as I was moving away. I realised I still hadn't told him this. I turned to him, biting my lip.

"Uhm, Dan..."

He turned to look at me. "Yeah?"

"I, uh... got into a fight today."

"Really? Who with?"

"Some kid at school. I've been expelled."

"_Expelled?"_ He said disbelievingly. "Because you got into a fight?"

"Apparently there were 'other reasons'." I said, sketching quote marks in the air as I said the last two words."Anyway, my dad's been offered a job in New Jersey. He says he's going to take it."

"What the fuck? You're _not _going. You can't just leave. Move in with me."

"Dan, I don't want to go, I jus-"

"Then don't fucking go! You can't do something just because your dad wants you to."

"You know how scared I am of my dad... I'm gonna have to go."

"YOU DON'T _HAVE_ TO DO ANYTHING, FRANK. TRY THINKING FOR YOURSELF FOR ONCE."

"Why are you yelling at _me_? It wasn't my idea, but it's my family... I can't just live here by myself."

"Like I said, move in with me."

"I'd have to go to school somewhere?"

"I'll home school you."

"Oh my god, Dan stop being so fucking ridiculous! I'm moving, that's all there is to it, no arguing. If there was any way I could not go, believe me I'd take it, but I can't."

"What about us then?"

"I don't know... I mean, I guess I could visit..."

"Great, so I'd have a boyfriend every other weekend. And god knows what you'd get up to when I'm not around, I don't trust you."

"Oh, thanks." I said sarcastically.

"Well look at the things that happened when I went away for one weekend. Fuck knows what would happen if you only saw me twice a month, you fucking whore."

"Dan, why the fuck are you having a go at me? I haven't done anything, stop being so paranoid. I'm sat right next to you and your already blowing everything out of proportion."

"That's 'cause I know what you're like." he spat at me, standing up.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I know these chapters have been pretty short so far, but they'll get longer once we get more into the story, I promise... I also promise you some frerard lovin' later on :3**

I sat on my bed, cowering under Dan's glare. He was terrifying when he got angry.

"I-I'm sorry." I mumbled, although I hadn't done anything.

"What the hell are you apologising for? You pathetic little fuck, didn't your parents ever teach you to stand up for yourself?" he snarled at me.

"Dan... don't do this. I don't want to leave, do you have to make it worse?"

"If you don't want to go, don't. Simple. C'mon, what's it gonna be? Me or your family?"

I stared at him, wondering if he really was crazy. "...My family."

"What the fuck! You fucking hate your dad, yet you choose him over me? You said you loved me!"

"Dan, I don't hate my dad... and I wouldn't be able to live with you anyway. I'm pretty sure it would be illegal. I kind of have to go."

"So you lied to me?"

"What? I didn't lie."

"You said you loved me, Frank. You fucking lied to me."

"I... I do." I said hastily, doing my best to not make things any worse than they were.

"Then stay here."

I put my head in my hands, letting out a frustrated yell. This conversation was getting increasingly repetitive. "Dan, I can't fucking stay, okay? Can you get that into your thick skull?"

I watched Dan's face contort into an angry scowl, and he shoved me backwards into the wall. I winced as my still pounding head hit against the wall.

"What the fuck did you say to me?"

"Stop... stop it" I whimpered, crushing my eyes shut, pain shooting through my body from contact against the cuts and bruises I had acquired earlier.

"Oh I'm sorry, have I hurt your feelings?" He growled at me, sarcasm dripping off his tongue. I didn't answer, just continued to struggle against his strong grip, tears beginning to make their way down my flushed cheeks. I kicked out at him, only gaining a whack across my cheek. I let out a cry of pain. "GET THE FUCK OFF ME."

"Why the hell should I?" he hissed back. At this moment the door opened, to reveal my dad. Dan looked round, and let go of me when he saw who it was. I almost fell to the floor, but just managed to regain my balance.

"What the fuck's going on?" my dad asked angrily, glaring at Dan.

"What the fuck's going on with _you_? You're trying to take Frank away from me?"

"I'm not yours to be taken away from!" I yelled.

"If you're talking about us moving to Jersey, we're moving to give Frank the chance of a fresh start. Surely you should be supportive of that?"

"That's such a pathetic excuse."

"Well you're a pathetic excuse for a human being, treating my son like this. Get out of my house now, before I make you leave myself."

Dan looked back round at me, as if expecting me to stand up for him. I said nothing. "_Fine._" he spat moodily, starting to make his way across the room. He turned round to me as he neared the door.

"You said you loved me."

"I lied." I retorted at once.

He threw me a disgusted look and left the room. My dad followed him, to make sure he left.

"I never loved you anyway!" he yelled, a few seconds before my dad shut the front door on him. I slid down the wall until I was sat on the floor, drawing my knees up to my chest. My dad appeared at the door again.

"I still don't know what you saw in him." he said jokingly, trying to lighten to mood. I just stared at the wall opposite. He walked towards me, patting my head gingerly. "You alright?" he asked. Stupid question really, but he was only trying to help I guess. I shrugged, looking up at him. "Cheer up kid, your make up's running." he said, and left, making me feel still worse. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, seeing that my tears were mixing with my eyeliner to make a horrible greyish colour that matched my mood perfectly. I buried my face in my hands.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry for another short chatpter... I promise I'll make the next one longer! xo**

The next day, my dad accepted the job offer in New Jersey, and our house was put up for sale. My dad insisted that I was involved in this, and I sat in the middle of my dad and step-mum's discussions, not really listening. I was still in shock from yesterday, still upset over what Dan had done. They had a look at some houses on the internet, and kept asking my opinion on them. I just shrugged and said they were alright, which was really all I could say. They were all grey and boring, as we didn't have much money and were on a fairly small budget. The next weekend, I got dragged up to New Jersey to have a look at some houses, and I spent the whole day scuffing my feet along the ground in house after house, which all looked the same to me, and observing how much of a shit place Jersey is. Dad and Hayley decided on one of the houses and they put in an offer. Meanwhile, in the week, we had got several offers for our house, and I spent the next week packing most of my stuff. It all happened pretty quickly, and within a month we had moved into our new house. It was drab and bare, but my dad promised it would be nicer once we put all of our stuff in... he was wrong. We soon discovered the heating and hot water didn't work, but I didn't care all that much. I was sure I would've been just as cold in myself even if we did have a working boiler. I couldn't be bothered to unpack, so I was sleeping just on my mattress, with boxes piled high against the opposite wall, full of my stuff, only unpacking some of my clothes and my guitar, but even that I played scarcely in those first two weeks. I just felt empty. I knew I didn't love Dan, I had always known I didn't. I knew this wasn't heartbreak or any of that bullshit, I just missed having _someone_ there. I had never had many friends, and the few I did have stopped talking to me or hanging round with me once I told them I was moving. The majority of them were Dan's friends anyway. I couldn't say I missed them as individuals much, I just missed having people there if I needed an excuse to get out of the house.

"Frank, I think you really need to take this opportunity of a fresh start... make a good impression." my dad said one morning as I shuffled into the kitchen in my pyjamas, my greasy hair hanging in my eyes, which were red from crying myself to sleep the last few nights. I slumped down at the kitchen table.

"What do you mean?" I asked, my voice straining slightly. I had spent most of my time shut up in my room since we got here, and hadn't talked much, and I was probably getting a cold from the constant chill in the house.

"I mean maybe... try to blend in a bit more, make a bit of an effort for people to like you." he said, watching my reaction carefully as if worried I might start yelling at him. I didn't want to be like everyone else, but trying to 'blend in' might be a good thing... I wouldn't stick out so much, maybe people would just ignore me rather than beating me up. "At least get rid of the lip ring."

I glared at him, realising this was just another attempt to get me to take the thing out... he didn't care about me enough to worry about me getting bullied. I was starting at Belleville High School in three days, and I was dreading it. I knew it would be no different from any other school I had been to; people are the same everywhere and people, I had discovered, didn't like me. It's just one of those things, no matter what I do... I can't help it.

"Please make at least a bit of an effort at this new school. Maybe you'll make some friends."

I shook my head sceptically, before going back upstairs. My dad didn't know what he was talking about, of course I wouldn't make any friends. I didn't want to, if I was completely honest with myself. I'd rather be left alone.


	5. Chapter 5

My alarm woke me up at 8:00 on my first day. I groaned and rolled off my mattress onto the cold floor and gave myself a few moments to wake up a bit, before shuffling over to the pile of clothes on my floor. I picked out some black skinny jeans and a Black Flag shirt that I had only worn a few times, got dressed, put on my usual eyeliner and went downstairs. No matter how much I told myself I was being stupid, I was really nervous.

"I thought you were gonna try and make a new start?" my dad said when he saw me looking as scruffy as ever. I shrugged. My dad shook his head. "Fine, it's your choice."

I ignored him, as Hayley put a plate of toast in front of me. I thanked her, although I wasn't hungry. I had hardly ate at all since we got here. I took a few bites, so she didn't feel bad, then then noticed the time, which thankfully told me I needed to leave now. I pulled on my converses and said a quick goodbye, before heading off down the road.

My first day was fairly uneventful – I got a few names yelled at me, but that was expected. No one talked to me that much, apart from the teachers, but I was fine with that.

The next day wasn't so successful.

"Oi faggot!" I heard a yell from behind me, followed by a few idiotic sniggers. I was used to that word being used to describe me, but something inside me hoped they didn't mean me. The part of me that had become slightly hopeful after yesterday, but as a football hit the back of my head and someone shouted "I was talking to you!", that hopeful spark was drowned. I stopped walking, but didn't look round at them. "Oh, you're the new kid then." a tall broad-shouldered boy commented as what sounded like a whole crowd of them approached.

"Obviously." I said, rolling my eyes, shoving my hands in my pockets and letting my shoulders slump. He looked angry.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?"

I raised my eyebrows at him. "Seriously? You're asking me this while you're swaggering around like the stuck up asshole you are, as if you own the fucking place."

The punch in the face was hardly unexpected. It still hurt however, and I stumbled back a little, clutching my now bleeding nose.

"Don't fucking talk to me like that."

I was about to say something back, when someone grabbed my arm and pulled me into an empty nearby classroom, and I heard the door close. "What the hell were you doing?" demanded a shocked voice. I turned round to see a figure standing by the door. He had jet black hair, most of which fell across his pale face, out of which his black lined hazel eyes shone distinctly. He was wearing skinny jeans and a Ramones shirt, with a plain black hoodie shrugged across his shoulders. He cocked an eyebrow at me. I shrugged, clearing some of the blood away from my nose with my sleeve. "Seriously, you try standing up for yourself again and you'll get the shit beat out of you."

"I know. I'm used to these sorts of people." I confessed. I didn't usually try to stand up for myself – I guess I thought if I tried to the first time, maybe there wouldn't a second time. Fat chance for someone like me. I looked back up at him, suddenly curious as to who he was and why he had dragged me in here. "Who are you?"

"Gerard Way." he answered promptly. He looked at me for a moment before I realised I was supposed to give my name in return.

"I'm Frank Iero."

He nodded. "You're new right?"

I also nodded. "Why did you... help me?"

"It didn't look like you were doing many favours for yourself, and I get a lot of shit from those guys too."

"Oh... well thanks." I said sincerely. No one had ever done something like this for me before.

We ended up skipping third period and sat talking in that empty classroom. I found out he was 17, two years older than me, and that he had a brother who was in most of my classes.

"Mikey's cool, you'd like him. I'll tell him to watch out for you."

I frowned at him. "I don't need someone to babysit me."

"Yeah, but it sounds like you could do with someone to hang out with in class, and so does he to be honest. He's a good kid, he's just... shy. I'll introduce you to him."

"Alright, thanks." I said. Now that he put it like that, it would be good to actually know and like someone in my classes. I wished Gerard was my age to be honest – he was so easy to talk to, but hopefully he was like his brother


	6. Chapter 6

When the bell went for fourth period, Gerard said goodbye and left to go to his next lesson. I dug out my already crumpled timetable from the bottom of my bag, to find I had Algebra next, in a classroom to which I had no clue of it's whereabouts, but I knew it must be on the other side of the the school. I sighed, contemplating looking for it, but that would mean I would be late, then I would have to admit in, front of everyone, that I got lost, and then I'd have to sit through the abuse of the people in my class, and I was sure someone would enquire about where I was last period. I decided I was probably better off skipping the rest of the day... it wasn't likely I would be missed. I was the new kid – no one knew me, and the few who did had probably forgotten me. I left the classroom once everyone had disappeared into their classrooms, and headed out of the gates and back home. I was glad I had made a sort-of-friend, and it was probably better to leave the day on a positive note. I knew both my parents weren't going to be home until after I would have got home from school, so they wouldn't know. I went upstairs first and fell onto my mattress, exhausted, having got used to lie-ins every morning. I ended up falling asleep for about half an hour, then went downstairs, bringing my duvet with me because our house still had no heating, and it was October. I ended up falling asleep in front of the TV as well – I didn't know I was so tired. I must have slept for about two hours, but I woke up crying and sweating. Dan had crept into my dreams, which wasn't the first time since we'd moved. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself down. I was terrified of him.

I spent the next few hours playing my guitar, trying to distract myself, but Dan's face and the sounds of his death threats kept appearing in my mind, echoing in my ears. I ended up curled up on the floor of my room, sobbing. I wanted to scream and shout and curse and throw things but I didn't even have enough energy to get up. He could have left quietly, but he had to make a fuss and scare the shit out of me, even a month later. I knew I was being stupid, but I couldn't help it – he scared me.

The only reason I went into school the next day was because there was a possibility it would be better than the previous days. I turned out to be right.

I arrived a little earlier than I had intended, and was greeted by Gerard and who I assumed to be his brother Mikey, and Gerard's introduction proved me right. He was quite a bit taller than Gerard, despite being younger, and was wearing a Joy Division shirt. Gerard prompted some conversation between us, then the bell went and Gerard left us, and me and Mikey went to our separate forms, but we had first period together in geometry. I realised I had seen him in some of my lessons, but he had been sitting it the back, not making any eye contact with anyone, and he was so skinny he blended in easily. I sat next to him in geometry, and we didn't talk a lot at first, but once he noticed the Misfits badge on my bag, we had plenty to talk about. He liked a lot of the same bands as me, and he mentioned that Gerard did as well. We had most of our lessons together that day, and our conversations became less and less awkward as the day wore on. Gerard sat with us at lunch, and seemed happy we were getting along. I was so happy I had made not just one, but two pretty good friends by just my third day here. I just hoped they wouldn't turn as quickly as some of the previous friends I had encountered.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Yay, new chapter! This one's a more respectable length. I'd also like to thank DreamsOfATeenger for reviewing, and it'd be nice if the rest of you could leave a review too, just so I know who's reading this, and feedback helps me improve. xo**

After school the next day, Mikey asked if I wanted to come round his, as him and Gerard were going to watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I agreed immediately, as I had been wanting to see it for ages, but I hadn't been able to get a copy as I look about ten, and Dan had refused to get it for me. Mikey had arranged to meet Gerard by the gates, so I waited with them. I was talking to Mikey, when I happened to look round, and I saw someone walking towards me. My mouth went dry and my heart sped up to a ridiculous speed.

What the fuck was Dan doing here?

I stared at him as he approached, literally shaking. He came right up to me and kissed me. I didn't push him away, simply because I feared what he might do if I did.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I asked as soon as he stopped, sounding more aggressive than I had intended.

"Come back home with me." he said abruptly. I realised Mikey was still standing next to me, looking extremely awkward. I pulled Dan a little way away.

"Dan, I can't. I told you."

"What, do you like it here?"

"It's okay..."

"So you're just gonna forget about me and everything else and move on in two weeks?"

"It's gonna be hard to forget about you, Dan. And that's not a good thing."

"You hardly recognised me, did you? I bet you'd forgotten all about me. Is that your new boyfriend you were with there?"

"No Dan, he's not. I'm not coming back with you."

"Fine. Great, I hope you fucking enjoy your new life." he snarled at me, before pulling my lips to his again. I let our lips touch for a few moments, before pulling away from him.

"Fuck off." I whispered. He glared at me, then turned and left. I stayed standing there for a few moments, realising what had just happened. Dan had just kissed me in front of pretty much the whole school. And Mikey. I turned round to look at Mikey, who was looking surprised, but not wearing the look of disgust I had expected. I still stood where I was however, uncertain about what to do. I looked down at the ground, watching his feet as he neared me. I looked up at him once he had stopped in front of me.

"Who was that?"

"Dan..." I muttered. "My ex boyfriend."

He nodded. "Are you alright?"

I nodded, disbelieving at the fact he wasn't walking away from me or calling me a faggot right now.

"Don't tell anyone." I mumbled, putting my hands in my pockets.

"I won't, Frank, but I dunno about everyone else." he said, looking around us. Some people were still staring at me, others laughing. I felt my cheeks going red. Everyone was going to know by tomorrow morning. I looked back at Mikey.

"Don't you hate me?" I asked miserably, probably sounding pathetic.

He laughed. "Of course not. Gerard's gay too."

Before I could reply, Gerard joined us.

"Why's everyone staring at us?" he asked, looking round.

"Probably staring at you, you freak." Mikey said jokingly. Gerard punched him in the arm lightly.

"You coming to ours then?" he asked me. I nodded. "Good. I hope you're not as easily scared as Mikey." he winked at me, before beginning to walk towards the gates.

"Hey!" Mikey said, following him, hitting his brother round the back of the head playfully. I followed too.

When we got to their house, Mikey went to get the film and get some popcorn, and Gerard said we would go to his bedroom where we were watching the film. I was expecting him to go upstairs, but instead he opened a door under the stairs which lead to the basement. I followed him down the dark stairs, and he flicked on a light. He was indeed leading me to his room, and it was amazing. His walls were covered with almost as many posters and pictures as my room had been in my old house. His room was messy, with things strewn all over the floor. There was a pretty big flat-screen TV opposite the foot of his double bed, on top of a chest of drawers. One of the top drawers were open, and a pair of Batman boxers were visible. I smiled slightly to myself, finding myself blushing slightly. I looked round at the other wall, and saw a bookshelf filled with CDs, there were even some piled on the top which he obviously didn't have enough room for. My eye was also caught by a small pile of vinyl records on the floor next to it. I walked over to it. The record on top was Horror Business by the Misfits. Gerard walked up beside me and picked them all up, leading me over to the bed and spreading them out proudly.

"Wow... do you have a record player?"

"No," he sighed. I looked up at him, frowning. "I'm looking for one. And saving up. I bought this one," he held up David Bowie's 'Space Oddity', "Then I just started collecting. My parents sold their record player about five years ago, and at that point I wasn't particularly interested in it."

"I'm pretty sure my dad had a record player." I said, frowning. "I dunno if he's still got it though."

"Tell him I'll buy it off him if he has." he said, grinning. "Where the hell's Mikey got to?" he said, standing up. "MIKEY." he shouted, making me jump. Mikey appeared at the door a few moments later.

"Sorry, couldn't find the popcorn... oh, and Ray and Bob are coming to watch it with us. They said they'll be here in a minute."

"Ok, they'd better hurry up though." Gerard sighed, flopping down on his bed next to me.

"Who are Ray and Bob?" I asked.

"Some friends of ours," he looked up at me. I nodded obligingly. "You'll like them, I promise."

"What... why do you say that?"

"I've noticed you're the kind of person who doesn't get along with people very well."

"You could say that." I sighed. "Do they go to our school?"

Gerard shook his head. "They graduated last year."

I nodded, feeling nervous, sure they would hate me. I was distracted when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Gerard called to Mikey, and rushed upstairs. He returned a few moments later with two guys. One of them had gingery-blonde hair and a lip piercing, the other had masses of curly brown hair that stuck up all over the place. The blonde one nudged Gerard. "Gerard, _what_ have I told you about keeping kids locked up in your room?"

Gerard laughed and pushed him, and I went bright red.

"This is my _friend_ Frank. Frank, this is Ray Toro," he gestured to the one with the curly hair. "And Bob dickhead Bryar." he gestured to the blonde one. Bob nodded.

"And this is Gerard Gay."

I laughed awkwardly, and Gerard winked at me.

"MIKEY! HURRY UP!"

Mikey appeared a few minutes later, and we switched the lights off and put the film on.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Okay, so this chapter's kind of dark, but I hope you enjoy it anyways... um, yeah, and thanks for the reviews, they make me happy xo**

We decided to hang out for a bit after watching the film, and Bob and Ray were actually pretty cool. We actually ended up spending more than a bit of time hanging out, but I really didn't want to leave. My dad didn't know where I was, but I was sure he would understand. At about ten o'clock, Gerard brought some beers down, which we all immediately helped ourselves to. By eleven I was drunk, and at some point Gerard brought some vodka down to. It didn't occur to me that I should be getting home until about half twelve. At first I wasn't too worried – I was really too drunk to register the fact I was late, and I hadn't got any calls or texts from my dad. When I checked my phone however, I realised it had been on vibrate. I had sixteen missed calls from my dad, and seven from Hayley, and ten unread texts from my dad, getting progressively less 'concerned parent' and more aggressive, the most recent one reading 'FRANK GET THE FUCK BACK HOME NOW YOU LITTLE SHIT!'

I stared at my phone, terrified, not wanting to go home now. I knew how my dad got when he was angry. "You okay Frank?" said Mikey, looking at me.

"I gotta go." I mumbled, scrambling up off the floor and grabbing my stuff, sprinting up the stairs, stumbling a few times, ignoring Gerard asking me what was wrong. He caught up with me when I was by the front door, trying to work out which shoes were mine. Gerard picked them up for me.

"Why do you need to go?" he said, not handing them to me.

"I'm late, my dad..." I muttered, not wanting to explain. "Give me my shoes."

"What's going on?"

"Nothing! It's half twelve and my dad doesn't know where I am, I think most parents' reactions would be to be pretty angry."

"What do you mean most?" he questioned, frowning.

"For fuck's sake! Gerard, give me my fucking shoes, I need to get home!"

"Why do you _need_ to get home?"

"I'll tell you tomorrow!" I said desperately, trying to grab my shoes from his grip but he held them above his head. "Please..." I begged, growing more frustrated. He seemed to give in once I was on the fucking verge of tears.

"Okay, fine. I'll see you tomorrow then?" he said, handing me my shoes. I snatched them off him, nodding. "Alright. Bye." he said, hugging me, muttering a 'good luck' into the side of my face, and kissing my cheek. I quickly turned away as I put my converses on, not wanting him to see the deep shade of red my face had undoubtedly turned.

"See you tomorrow." I repeated his words as I opened the door, waving over my shoulder at him as I walked down his front path. Once I got to the end of his drive I started running. It took me about half an hour to get home, and I stopped as I approached my house. I didn't want to go in – I knew my dad would be furious. He could be okay sometimes, but he could change moods worryingly fast. I took a deep breath and walked up to my house, doing my best to walk in a straight line. I knocked on the door, as I had forgotten my key so an unobtrusive entrance was impossible. My dad opened the door with such force that it slammed against the opposite wall. I took a step back; he was glaring at me as if he was about to kill me.

"D-dad I'm sorry..." I said hurriedly. He grabbed my collar and pulled me inside, slamming the door.

"IT'S ONE O'CLOCK IN THE FUCKING MORNING, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?"

"I was at a friend's house... we were watching a film and I lost track of time, I'm sorry."

"You were watching a film for eight hours?" he asked sceptically.

"No, we watched a few films... and we hung out for a bit before and stuff..." the words slurred slightly as I frowned, trying to work out, in my drunken state, if that would amount to eight hours or more. My dad interrupted my thoughts with the question I had dreaded.

"Have you been drinking?" he demanded.

"I... no." I said uneasily.

"Don't you dare fucking lie to me." he growled, pointing a finger at my chest. I began shaking, previous memories of my dad being this angry stirring up in my mind. I rushed into the bathroom, sinking to my knees as I threw up in the toilet. Once I had recovered slightly, I looked up to see my dad in the doorway.

"I'm sorry dad." I mumbled pathetically, tears that I didn't know had appeared falling down my face. He looked down at me disgusted.

"First you go missing, then you have the fucking cheek to turn up here again pissed, then you lie to me about where you've been, tell me you're not drunk, and now you're pleading for forgiveness?" he said, as if he needed to check this with me. I just fell back on my heels, chewing at the inside of my cheek, not looking at him. "Are you at least gonna tell me where you where?"

"I _was_ at my friends' house. We watched a film with a couple of their friends and then after we talked for a bit and had a few drinks."

"You expect me to believe this bullshit?

"It's the truth!" I said indignantly, standing up. "What do you _think_ I was doing?"

"Not much would surprise me. I just hope you haven't been fucking any more eighteen-year-olds."

"Me and Dan never... that's not even the point. I just wanted to hang out with some friends."

"THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU FUCKING TELL ME?" he yelled, grabbing the front of my shirt and pushing me backwards into the wall. My head whacked against the peeling paint with a sickening smack, and I collapsed on the cold stone tiles, sobbing.


	9. Chapter 9

The first thing that came to my attention, before I even opened my eyes, was a splitting headache. I groaned, putting my hands to my head. It took a few moments for me to work up the courage to open my eyes. When I did, I found myself on the floor of the downstairs bathroom, the daylight coming from the window committing a physical assault on my skull. I struggled to remember last night. I knew I had gone to Gerard and Mikey's. We'd watched the film then at some point alcohol had been introduced into the situation. Slowly, the memories recollected in my head. I attempted to sit up, and was glad the toilet wasn't far away. I hadn't even drank that much last night; I guessed some of it was due to my dad's attack. I managed to stand up after a few minutes and stumbled upstairs. It was half ten in the morning. I was already late for school, and I couldn't face the walk to school feeling like this, never mind the rest of the day. I just fell onto my mattress. My dad had already left for work, probably not even checking to see if I was okay. I didn't know where Hayley was. She obviously hadn't been in last night, or she would've heard the shouting and come to see what was going on. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. I had a text from Mikey asking me where I was. I hit reply. '_Not feeling great after last night.'_ I sent it, then placed my phone on the floor beside me. I spent most of the day sleeping off my headache. I was just glad it was friday. I had got through a week of school... well, the best part of a week. Tomorrow would be saturday, and I could lie in.

Over the weekend, I did precisely nothing, but that was all I wanted to do. I didn't talk to my dad all weekend, and me and Hayley exchanged very few words. I stayed shut up in my room, listening to music or playing guitar. Monday came around too soon however, but at least that meant I got to see Gerard and Mikey again.

I got to school late on monday, so I didn't see them before school but I saw Mikey in chemistry. He was waiting outside the classroom for me, and grabbed my arm as soon as he saw me.

"Frank, I need to tell you something." he said urgently.

"Okay... what?" I said, forcing an awkward laugh. I always got nervous when someone said they needed to tell me something, or that we needed to talk.

"Boys, the lesson has started." Our chemistry teacher had opened the door to the classroom and was glaring at us. We both shuffled inside reluctantly, and I took the seat next to Mikey. Once she had finished talking, Mikey turned to me again.

"You know that Dan guy... your ex."

"Yes..." I muttered, nervous as to where this was going. Mikey lowered his voice

"He... uh, he stayed round on saturday night. Him and Gerard... uh..." he cleared his throat, looking apologetically at me. I stared at him. "I would've told you before, but I didn't wanna tell you in a text..." he trailed off, looking at me, still waiting for any sign of a reaction in my expression. I cleared my throat, looking down at my knees.

"Are they like... going out, then?"

"No, he got the train home the next morning."

"Oh..." I said, nodding slightly.

"Don't blame Gerard... I haven't told him he was your ex... he didn't know."

"I know, I don't blame him, I just..." I didn't finish my sentence. I felt slightly sick. I stood up, walking shakily up to the teacher. "Can I be excused?" I said faintly. She frowned at me.

"Is everything okay?"

"I feel sick." I mumbled. She let me go, and I rushed into the toilets. As soon as the door shut behind me, I burst into tears. I didn't know why it upset me... I hated Dan, and it wasn't like I could blame Gerard. He didn't know. Just the thought of Gerard having sex with my ex boyfriend and not me was crushing. The thought of Gerard being with _anyone_ who wasn't me was a horrible thought. I guess I couldn't deny it now, I couldn't deny that I liked Gerard, couldn't deny that I wanted to be with him. What if they did start seeing each other? What if Dan would agree to being in a long-distance relationship with Gerard but not me. I wouldn't blame him. Gerard was better looking than me, he was taller, he was older, and he was probably more trustworthy than me. What if they fell in love? What if I never got to be with Gerard? I needed to talk to him.

I didn't see Gerard until lunch. He was unusually quiet.

"Gerard, listen... I need to talk to you about something." I said nervously, looking down at the table. He nodded, and I took that as I sign that he was listening. "Uh... Mikey told me about saturday night." Gerard's head jerked upwards.

"What did he... why? It's got nothing to do with you!" he sounded angry. I bit my lip.

"It kinda does. He's my ex."

Gerard stared at me in utter confusion. I could see his lips moving, trying to form a question. I cut across him.

"He broke up with me when I told him I was moving away. He came to the school on thursday after school to try and persuade me to move in with him back home."

"Shit," Gerard muttered "I'm sorry... if I'd known I wouldn't have."

"I know, I'm not mad, I just thought you should know cause he's... he's an asshole. He gave me loads of shit about leaving, and I don't want you to like, get involved with him."

"Wow. I wouldn't have anyway, it was just a one night thing. That sounds bad... I'm not that kind of person really. I got pretty drunk on saturday and went out with the guys." I nodded, gently patting his hand. He smiled. "Thanks for being okay with this."

"It's fine, it's not your fault. I guess it's not really anyone's fault."

"But still, thanks. I wouldn't want you to hate me." he said, smiling at me. I couldn't help going slightly red. Just then Mikey sat down with us.

At the end of lunch, when Mikey left for his form, Gerard put a hand on my shoulder.

"Uh... thanks again for... y'know." he said, shrugging. I nodded.

"It's fine."

"Good." he said, before pressing his lips to mine. I was shocked at first, but then I relaxed into it. His lips were soft, and one of his hands rested lightly on the side of my face, the other on my hip. He smiled when he pulled back, and turned to walk in the other direction, leaving me standing there, recovering my senses as he casually walked away, his hips swaying slightly. I stared after him, not noticing the sniggers around me.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry for not updating in a while again, but next chapter's up now. LET THE SEXY TIME BEGIN.**

The kiss had ended far too quickly. I stared after him until he turned a corner, before looking around, my surroundings coming back to me. The bustling of people around me seemed unnaturally loud, and I could still hear laughter coming from behind me. I turned and made my way to my form. By the time I had taken my seat, the feeling of happiness had worn off. Of course I couldn't just kiss someone and then just be happy about it. Why had he kissed me? Did he like me? Was it just in a friend way? What kind of friends kiss like that without it meaning something? I had no idea, but it wasn't too long before I found out.

On friday, I found myself at Gerard and Mikey's house again. Mikey had gone out but said he'd be back in a few hours. Me and Gerard had quite a bit to drink, and were sat facing each other, sharing a joint, a half full bottle of vodka between us. I passed the joint to Gerard, watching as he inhaled, his cheeks hollowing, then slowly exhaling it as I took a swig of vodka, watching the smoke spread out around us, trapping us together inside our own little smoky world for a few moments. He held it out to me and I copied his actions, closing my eyes as I breathed out the smoke. When I opened them again, Gerard was staring at me. I laughed lazily, passing it to him again.

"What?"

"You're really hot." he shrugged, raising the joint to his lips. I giggled quietly, and hoped I wasn't going red.

"Thanks. You too." I winked at him, taking another gulp of vodka. He shook his head.

"You're just saying that."

"I'm not... you're really pretty." I said, putting my hand on his leg. He smiled.

"Whatever you say Frank."

"Gerard..." I said nervously. He nodded. "You know on monday, when you kissed me... why... what did you mean by...?"

He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me towards him, crushing our lips together. I untangled my legs from underneath me, settling in a kneeling position, sitting back on my heels and wrapping my arms around his shoulders as his tongue prised my lips apart and darted into my mouth. His mouth tasted of alcohol and coffee. He pulled away after a minute or so, sighing. I looked at him questioningly. Before I could ask, he answered. "We shouldn't be doing this." he declared, raising the joint to his mouth. "You're fifteen."

"I know how old I am, Gerard. That didn't stop you kissing me in front of everyone at school."

"Yeah, but... I'd feel like I'd be taking advantage of you or something." he said, looking at the floor, chewing at his lip. I took the joint out of his hand and put it to my lips.

"I don't care." I stated once I had breathed out the smoke. "I wanna be taken advantage of. Who cares if we shouldn't do it? We shouldn't be drinking or smoking weed either, you don't seem to care about that so much. Do what you want, who gives a fuck about the rules?"

"This isn't hurting anyone, except ourselves." he said, gesturing to the now less than quarter-filled bottle in front of him.

"It's not gonna _hurt_ me, Gerard. I'm not gonna die from it. If anything you're hurting me by not." Gerard looked at me, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "You wouldn't wanna hurt me, would you?" I pouted at him. He shook his head, pulling me into his lap, his lips finding mine, his tongue finding its way into my mouth, his hand tangling in my hair. I was aware of the blood rushing to my groin. He groaned as I moved my position slightly, and I felt his erection against my thigh through his jeans. I looked down at him, smiling slightly. He pushed me back off his lap and onto the floor, moving up to straddle my hips, holding my wrists down against the floor. Our lips met again before he moved down to my neck, sucking gently at the skin. I moaned quietly and he raised his head to look at me, a crooked smile present on his lips. He let go of my wrists, and gracefully moved his hands down to the hem of my shirt, pulling it up over my head, immediately attaching his lips to my chest, now undoing my belt. Once he had removed my pants, he sat back on my hips, and I helped him pull his t-shirt off, then I focused on getting his jeans off him. Once he was sat astride me again, both in our boxers, he began to rock his hips against mine, achieving several moans from both of us. I did my best to reciprocate his actions, although it was difficult because I was underneath him. He started kissing my neck and chest, then I brought his face up to mine. He pushed his tongue into my mouth straight away. I let him take control, closing my eyes, sliding a hand round the back of his neck to pull him closer, feeling his hips grind against mine repeatedly. I moaned into his mouth, my fingernails digging into the back of his neck. I felt him smile against my lips, moving harder and faster. I gasped, letting my head fall back against the floor, my jaw going slack. His hand reached below the waistband of my boxers, wrapping around my leaking cock. I groaned at the contact, and he started to pump me, finding a steady pace. I whimpered helplessly, my mouth hanging open. I wasn't going to last for much longer, as Gerard's fingers brushed over the head of my cock over and over again. I moaned, coming into his hand. Gerard's hips continued to rock against mine for a few moments before he released too. I laid where I was for a while, my eyes still shut, Gerard still on top of me, both of us panting hard. I eventually opened my eyes, to see Gerard, breathing hard, staring down at me.

"Fuck." was all he said. I nodded. He got off me and stood up, offering a hand to help me up, which I took. We put our clothes back on and sat down on his bed.

"You wanna stay over tonight?" he said, winking. I nodded.

"Yes please."


	11. Chapter 11

"I still don't really know anything about you, Frank." Gerard sighed once we were alone again. Mikey had come down and hung out with us for a bit, and now he had gone up to bed. Gerard was insisting I slept in his bed with him.

"What do you mean?" I said, my stomach churning. I didn't want to talk about myself.

"Well you've never really told me anything about yourself."

"I've... I told you some things." I muttered.

"Come on Frank. You know loads about me... You never even told me why you got expelled from your old school." I sighed, realising we were going to talk about this.

"I beat this guy up and he ended up in hospital... there were apparently other reasons too, but they didn't bother explaining those to me."

"Why did you beat him up?"

"He always used to beat me up and push me around. Then he... he was talking about my mum, and I just fucking lost it." I looked up to see Gerard staring at me in slight confusion. I remembered Gerard didn't know about my mum, or anything about my family. "My mum killed herself a week after I was born." I said quietly, trying my best not to cry.

"Oh..." Gerard said, hugging me. I put my head on his shoulder. "Can I ask why?" he said tentatively.

"She couldn't handle the responsibility of a kid. She was a drug addict. Fucked in the head from what my dad told me. Didn't give a shit about me."

"Frank, don't say that..." Gerard said, stroking his thumb down the side of my face.

"It's true. She..." I looked at Gerard's concerned face. "Promise you won't tell anyone this?" I said pleadingly. Gerard nodded earnestly. "She... she was a hooker. I was an accident. I'm sure I don't need to explain to you in detail how that happened, but... my mum really didn't give a fuck if I was alive or not. She hated me." I choked out the last part, bursting into tears. Gerard pulled me into his chest, making little 'shh' noises, trying to calm me down. I sobbed into his t-shirt, my eyes shut tight, wishing I could make it all go away and not have to think about this, not have to pull this all up from my memory, or have to feel this pain again. Most of all, I wish Gerard didn't have to see me like this.

"What else do you wanna know about?" I asked, once I had stopped crying. We were now laid down on his bed cuddled up together.

"We don't have to talk about this now, Frank. I didn't wanna get you upset, I'm sorry."

"It's fine, I might as well tell you now. I'll have to answer your questions some time. Go ahead."

I heard him take a deep breath, as if wondering if he should say it or not. I braced myself for whatever question he wanted an answer to. "There's just one thing... Dan, your ex... what did you mean when you said he gave you a load of shit about leaving?"

Ah yes, me and Dan, another wonderful story to tell.

"Well... me and Dan, wow. We were never very close." I took a deep breath. "My dad hated him, and Dan used to do loads of stuff to try and piss my dad off. He'd get me drunk, or he'd get me to stay round his all weekend then insist on taking me home and coming inside with me. He took me to get my lip pierced. He stayed round pretty much every other night, and I could just never say no to him." I sighed, not wanting to tell him the next bit. "And... he used to pretty much make me suck him off and stuff. He'd say loads of really mean stuff to me, and he beat me up twice."

"Why... why did he beat you up?" said Gerard, his eyes round and concerned.

"One time he was really drunk and we started arguing over something stupid, and he got really angry with me... and the second time, I guess he had good reason to." I paused, fiddling with the corner of the duvet. "He went away for the weekend, and I went to this party and ended up making out with one of his friends. Dan found out and just... went crazy." I shuddered as I remembered that day. He'd punched me in the face, threw me on the ground, kicked me in the ribs and spat in my face. I recalled him sneering down at me, telling me I was a waste of space, that I was no better then my mum. I looked up at Gerard, who was looking horrified.

"He... he beat you up because you kissed one of his friends? Frank, that's not a good reason."

"Well it's... I guess he had a reason to be mad."

"Yeah, but not a reason to hurt you. That's not fair."

"Well Dan was never fair. He did what the fuck he wanted to me, and got away with anything because I was younger and weaker than him. He treated me like shit." I said bitterly. I'd heard people saying Dan had been with other people behind my back, but I'd never talked to him about it – I was too scared – so I never knew if any of it was true. I just did my best to ignore it.

"Why didn't you stand up for yourself? Or tell someone?"

"There was no one I could tell. My dad would tell me to stop being a pussy and the only people I hung out with other than Dan were Dan's mates, and it's obvious which side they'd take. And I've never been very good at standing up for myself, especially not to people like Dan."

"But... why not?"

"Because I'm a coward and I've never had any self confidence."

"Why not? You should."

"Well, I'm basically the cause of my mother's death, I was brought up with my dad shouting at me and telling me I wasn't good enough, and I've been abused by a boyfriend three years older than me. How am I supposed to like myself after all that?"

"We've all done stuff in our past we're not proud of. So what? You've gotta look past that."

I looked up at him. "What've you done you're not proud of?"

"Plenty of things. One of which being sleeping with Dan. Now you've told me about him I'm just disgusted with myself."

"Sorry." I muttered.

"Don't be, Frank. It's fine. It's probably better I know anyway."

"Yeah, I guess." I said, yawning. Gerard stood up and went over to one of his drawers. I crawled under the covers, my eyes falling shut despite my efforts to keep them open.

"You sleeping in your clothes then?" Gerard said. He was standing beside the bed in a pair of pyjama trousers, pulling an old t-shirt on as he spoke. I groaned and pulled my jeans and shirt off, still not opening my eyes.

"That'll do." I sighed, feeling Gerard get into bed next to me.

"I'm fine with that." he said, kissing my cheek. I smiled sleepily in return.

"Nuh-night." I mumbled, moving closer to him. He put his arm round me and I snuggled into his side, smiling.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I am so so so so so _SOO_ sorry it's take me this long to update... I literallty had no inspiration, then I was gonna write more over half term then I was really busy... I hope I haven't lost all my readers. This is also yet another short chapter :c I just wanted to upload something today to let you guys know I hadn't stopped writing, and it got late and stuff, so here's kind of a filler chapter, but a chapter all the same. Anyway, I'll shut up and let you read said chapter. Sorry again. xo**

I stayed round Gerard and Mikey's all weekend. It was fun... a lot more fun than sitting at home in bed feeling depressed. Just being around Gerard was enough to make me smile.

"It was only a matter of time." Mikey laughed when he came into Gerard's room the next morning to find us cuddled up in bed together. I had discovered Mikey spent a lot of time in Gerard's room. I wished I had a brother who I could hang out with like Gerard and Mikey did.

"Fuck you Mikey." Gerard muttered, but he was smiling slightly.

"Come on, get up you lazy fuckers."

"_Fine_." Gerard pouted, standing up and stretching. "Now fuck off and let us get dressed."

"Okay... I'll make pancakes!" he said excitedly.

"No, Mikey, don't do any cooking while mum and dad are out."

"Oh relax, I don't need the toaster to make pancakes." he rolled his eyes and went back upstairs.

Gerard laughed and turned to me. "You seriously can't trust that kid with anything."

I grinned, picking up my clothes from the floor and pulling my jeans on.

"You wanna borrow a shirt or something?" he said as I was about to pull yesterday's shirt on.

"Uh... yes please."

Gerard pulled a Black Flag shirt out of his drawer and handed it to me. I said thanks and pulled it on. He giggled. "Man, you look like you're drowning in that shirt. You're so cute."

I scowled at him as he ruffled my hair, looking down at the shirt, which was indeed pretty big for me. He kissed me before turning to find himself some clothes. I sat myself back down on the bed, picking up an X-Men comic from the floor next to his bed and flicking through it while he got changed. After a few minutes of contented silence, the comic was pulled out of my hands and Gerard's presence replaced it, as he jumped into my lap, pushing me backwards so I was laid down on the bed and he was straddling my hips. He grinned and kissed the tip of my nose before standing up. I whined quietly at the absence of the warmth of his body so suddenly. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up off the bed. I stared pleadingly at him, half jokingly.

"Later," he winked, catching my lips between his for a second, "I'm hungry." I followed him up the stairs mutely, our fingers still interlocked, admiring the way his hips swayed gently as he walked. When we entered the kitchen, it was just in time to see Mikey attempting to flip a pancake... and failing. It was enough to distract me from my thoughts, and I giggled at Mikey's disappointed face.

"Nice one." Gerard snorted, patting him on the back in mock congratulation. Mikey picked the pancake up off the floor, peered at it for a second then looked at Gerard.

"You can have this one."

"Fuck you, you're the one who dropped it!"

Mikey sighed, dropping it into the bin and returning to the cooker to attempt another one.

"You want me to have a go?" Gerard offered, inspecting the lop-sided pancakes he had already made. Mikey sighed and nodded, sitting himself on the counter. I leant on the worktop, watching Gerard as he went about making the pancakes, pouring the mixture into the pan, smiling at the way he stuck his tongue out a little in concentration as he prepared to flip it, and actually managed it. Me and Mikey applauded. We were soon sat at the table, each with plates laden with pancakes of varying success, laughing at the weird shapes we'd created. I felt bad because I couldn't finish half of mine, but Mikey helped himself almost as soon as I declared I was full, and Gerard snagged a few too. Gerard tried to tempt me, waving forkfuls of pancake at me. I had a few mouthfuls, purely because I thought he was being cute, but I really was full. Gerard pouted every time I shook my head, but I just stuck my tongue out at him. It was like we were in some cheesy film, and for once the idea of that didn't repulse me.

"I'm going out in a minute." Mikey declared, looking at his phone.

"Okay... where you going?" said Gerard, sipping his coffee.

"Out with some people." Mikey shrugged.

"Anyone in particular?" Gerard probed further.

"Just... Matt and a couple of his friends."

Gerard finally seemed satisfied with the amount of detail and nodded.

"Alright, gonna be back for lunch?"

"No, I'll probably be back kinda late... don't wait up." he mumbled, standing up and dumping his plate in the sink before leaving the kitchen.

"Okay... more coffee?" he said, turning to me as he finished his coffee. I nodded, noticing how he glanced round as Mikey's footsteps sounded in the stairs, then back down again a few moments later.

"See you guys later!" he called out from the hallway.

"Bye!" me and Gerard called back in unison. Gerard sat back down at the table while waiting for the kettle to boil.

"Mikey's changed." he sighed.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I know it's been a while again... I'm gonna start leaving a little longer between chapters, so I can make them longer and better quality. I know some of the chapters have been a bit disappointing so far. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and thanks for the reviews. xo**

"How?" I said, watching as he twisted his fingers together awkwardly.

"He used to tell me everything." he said after a pause. "He'd always tell me where he was going and who he was with... not that I was worried, it was just nice that he told me, and he always would, even when he used to stay round his girlfriend's house. He seems like he's distancing himself from me."

"I'm sure he's not." I assured him, patting his shoulder gently.

"He is. He's probably sick of being the weird kid's little brother. I can't say I blame him." He shrugged, standing up again to make the coffee. I turned round to face him.

"Gerard, you're being stupid. He's nearly sixteen, he's probably just getting more independent or something... I don't know, but don't take it personally. You guys are closer than any siblings I've ever met." I said reassuringly. His shoulders slumped slightly, his back to me. I heard an almost inaudible sniff.

"We had this argument a few weeks ago." His voice was quiet. He still wasn't facing me, and was neglecting the coffees in front of him. "He told me he wished he wasn't my brother and that him and his friends always rip the shit outta me when I'm not around. He said sorry afterwards and we made up but... he still said it."

I stood up and put a hand on his shoulder. "Everyone says stupid things when they're pissed off. Mikey's never said anything bad about you to me... he's told me a lot of things about you, and none of them were even remotely bad. Don't worry about it."

"Why would he say it if it wasn't true? Why would he tell me him and his friends talk shit about me if they don't?"

"I don't know, I'm not Mikey... but have you tried talking to him about it?"

"I asked him about it before. He told me to calm the fuck down and stop acting like a married couple. He's started hanging out with the wrong kinda people... they come over and talk to him sometimes and I'm just left standing there awkwardly."

"Like who?" I said, putting an arm around his waist and rubbing my thumbs across his hip soothingly. I felt his shoulders shrug slightly.

"There's this group of kids who like, spend all their time at the skate park smoking weed."

"Yeah, I know them... you do know Mikey's smoked pot before don't you?"

"Yeah, of course I know... I just don't want Mikey to start hanging out with them. They get involved in a lot of shit with the police and I don't want that to happen to him. My parents already have one kid who's failed at life, I'm sure they don't need another one. He's a smart kid... I don't want him to waste that."

"Gerard..." I looked up at him. He sighed, looking back at me. "You're not a failure." I whispered.

"I am. What have I done with my life in seventeen years? Absolutely fuck all. I'm failing at school and I'll never do anything worthwhile."

"You've still got most of your life ahead of you, and you're still at school... no one gets shit done at school. You're smart and you're fucking amazing at drawing. Just... y'know, give it time."

Gerard smiled slightly. "Thanks." he muttered, wrapping his arms around me.

"No problem." I murmured into his shirt.

"You're adorable, you know that?"

I glared up at him and he giggled, pulling my face up to his. His lips tasted like syrup and pancakes and I licked across his bottom lip before allowing him entrance, smiling into his mouth, which tasted of coffee. I moaned quietly as he moved his hands up my back to my neck, tangling his fingers in my already messy hair, fingertips brushing against the sensitive spot on the back of my neck. He pushed me back a few steps, into the kitchen counter. His hands grabbed my hips and he lifted me up with a surprising amount of strength for someone with such a skinny frame. He lifted me up onto the counter behind me, still not breaking the kiss, meaning I was having to lean down, and he was stood on his tiptoes. He pushed my legs a little further apart, placing himself between them to get closer to me, his hands on my thighs, his thumbs lightly caressing my skin through the fabric of my pants. My neck was bent down at an awkward angle but I was too lost in Gerard's sugary lips to care. He pulled back for breath after a minute or so, breathing hard, grinning wickedly up at me, still stood between my legs, his hands still firmly gripping my thighs. I leant back against the cupboards behind me for a second, resting my neck when I felt one of Gerard's hands moving up my leg to my belt buckle. I looked back down at him, and he met my eyes, leaning up to catch my lips between his again as he began to slowly undo my belt. My jeans were starting to feel considerably tighter, but he was taking a ridiculously long amount of time to get my jeans undone. I let out a small impatient moan into his mouth, as he finally got the zipper down. He parted our lips, starting to kiss my neck and jawline instead as he pulled my pants and boxers down as much as he could. I was hard and nearly whimpering by the time he finally wrapped his fist around my dick, and I groaned as he began to gently stroke me. I let my head roll back, creating a dull thunk on the cupboard doors, my eyes fluttering shut. Gerard's lips were still on my neck, but I could feel his eyes on me. I looked down at him with half-lidded eyes, and he was looking intently at me, a small smile on his lips. I let out a loud moan as he began to speed up, his thumb brushing lightly over the head with each stroke and I rolled my hips forward into his hand. I bit my lip, leaning back against the cupboards again, slipping down on the worktop slightly. I felt like I might burst in a second, bucking up into Gerard's tight fist, choking out a groan as I came into his hand. "Shit." I panted, slumping back against the cupboards again.

**P.S. I did some editing to my one-shot Try Getting Away Now if you wanna check it out. I was reading through it the other day and I realised it needed a lot of improvements, so I made them and re-uploaded it.**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: So, I finally updated again - yay! Well, I hope that's a yay. I know it's been ages and I'm sorry and this chapter isn't even that long and it's probably very disappointing and I'm sorry but I'll try to update more often.**

When I got back to school on monday, I found myself stuck in the middle of an argument between the two Way brothers. I had first and second period with Mikey, and he seemed normal, but at lunch when Gerard joined us, a stony silence fell. Gerard directed all his conversation at me, not even looking in Mikey's direction. Fifteen minutes into lunch Mikey got up and walked off. We both watched him as he went, sitting down at a table occupied by the group of kids Gerard had mentioned – the ones who spent all of their time getting stoned. I looked back at Gerard, who was glaring down at his lunch as if it personally offended him, the hand that was on the table curling into a fist.

"What's happened between you two?" I asked, watching closely for his reaction. He sighed, still staring at his food.

"I talked to him about it and he went fucking crazy." he said dully.

"What did you say to him?"

"I told him he'd changed and that he was stupid to be hanging around with those guys," he jerked his thumb in the direction of Mikey and his apparent new friends. "And he said I was being ridiculous if I thought he was gonna hang around with me for the rest of his life at school."

I sat back in my chair, biting my lip as I looked at him, still staring at the table. He hadn't looked me in the eye all day. "Is that exactly what you said to him?" I asked, feeling like some kind of psychiatrist. He shrugged his shoulders.

"Basically."

"Come on, tell me what you-"

"Can we not talk about this?" he said sharply, looking up at me but still not making eye contact.

"Of course." I said after a short pause.

"Thank you." he said, appearing to relax a little.

"So, had a good day so far?"

"Yeah, it's been alright I guess. You?"

I let out a sigh, scrunching my face up in disgust at the thought. "Got paired up to do an english project with that James kid," Gerard gave a sympathetic grimace at the thought of the blonde soccer-playing troll. "And I have a Chemistry test next which I'm going to fail. So yeah, it's been a fun day."

"Aw man, that sucks." Gerard said sympathetically. I nodded. "Haven't you got any lunch?" he said, frowning. I cleared my throat nervously.

"Uh... no, I... forgot it."

"Oh, you wanna borrow some money?" he asked, reaching into his pocket.

"No, it's fine... I'm not that hungry. I'll have something when I get home."

"Alright, if you're sure." he said, withdrawing his hand from his pocket.

"Yeah, thanks anyway."

Me and Gerard passed the rest of lunch making casual conversation and complaining about school. I didn't say anything about Mikey, although I saw him looking over at us a few times while we were talking.

Over the next week or two, matters only got worse. Gerard became obsessed with knowing where Mikey was at all times. He talked to me more about Mikey that anything else, and whenever I was round there, he hardly took any notice of me. Due to this, Mikey spent less and less time with Gerard, so I barely got to see him – I didn't want Gerard to think I was on Mikey's side. In classes, we talked less and less, as Mikey had other friends to talk to and he thought I agreed with Gerard's point of view. To be honest, I thought both of them were being pretty stupid, and I didn't really care much about who was right. I just wanted them both to stop arguing.

I also had my own problems to worry about; my dad and Hayley starting arguing a lot more than usual. What was worse was I kept getting dragged into it. Seeing as Mikey and I weren't really talking, and Gerard never listened to me, I began to relapse into old habits.

**A/N: I know it's kind of a cliffhanger, but I'm literally starting to write the next bit right now, so hopefully it won't be too long before the next chapter, which will hopefully be a bit longer. PS if you review I'll send you imaginary internet hugs. XO**


	15. Chapter 15

**New chapterrrr. I think we'll just accept that it's going to take a while for new chapters from now on, so don't get your hopes up as I'm kinda busy with school and stuff. Anyway, enjoy!**

As matters between Gerard and Mikey got worse, I started to feel less and less like I had friends at all. I couldn't talk to either of them about my problems at home – I knew Gerard wasn't listening whenever I tried to tell him something, and Mikey just seemed totally unsympathetic towards me. I still spent a bit of time with Gerard though, purely because I accepted all of his offers to come over so I could get out of the house. We didn't hang out like we used to though – he would stick a film on and then sit there staring at his phone, and occasionally wonder aloud where Mikey could be or who he could be with.

One sunday I was making my way over to Gerard's to escape another screaming match at home. I had taken the long way around to avoid bumping into people from school, but as I neared the skate park I noticed a whole bunch of kids from school there. I quickly identified Mikey among them, staring at the ground, a joint hanging loosely between his fingers, uninvolved in the conversation around him. I slowed down, debating going over to him and saying hi. He looked up and caught my eye, acknowledging me by way of a nod. I made up my mind on the spot and started coming over to him. I saw a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth for a few moments. "Hey." I said as I neared him.

"You alright?" he asked once I was stood in front of him.

"Yeah, fine... just wanted to get out of the house for a bit, so I though I'd-" I stopped myself quickly "...Thought I'd go for a walk."

He frowned slightly but nodded. "Okay... you wanna hang out for a bit?"

I smiled, and was about to agree when I remembered the other kids that were here. Mikey caught me looking distastefully at his company and bit his lip.

"I would, but I should really be getting home soon..."

"Oh that's fine."

"Yeah, thanks anyway." I was about to turn and leave when one of the other guys there came over. I didn't recognise him – I don't think he went to our school.

"Hey, you wanna buy some weed?" he asked hurriedly. My eyes widened as I saw the small bag he was holding up.

"How much?" I asked without even stopping to think.

I walked away thirty seconds later, stuffing the small bag into my pocket. The whole way to Gerard's I was torn between sharing it with him or keeping it to myself. I didn't want to share it – especially not with Gerard, considering the way he'd been acting lately. I decided not to mention it. I knocked on the door of Gerard and Mikey's house. I waited a few moments before knocking again. Gerard's head poked round the door after a few minutes, his hair dripping wet. He smiled weakly when he saw it was me and stood back to let me in. He was wearing nothing but his usual black jeans, his pale chest bare. He had obviously just had a shower. He led the way down to his bedroom, picking up a shirt from the floor and pulling it on before turning to me. "You alright?"

I nodded, "Yeah, fine."

"Good." he sat down heavily on his bed, "Seen Mikey at all?"

"Yeah, he was at the skate park with some friends." I said casually.

He looked up. "Oh really? Did you say anything to him."

I hesitated for a split second. "No, just waved."

He sighed, seeming dissatisfied with the information. He picked up the remote from the floor next to him and switched the TV on. I sat myself down next to him on the bed, laying my head back on his pillows and closing my eyes, suddenly feeling exhausted. I felt Gerard putting his arm round me, but it wasn't in a particularly affectionate manner, just sort of obligatory. He didn't pull me close to his chest and kiss the top of my head like he had before, just lightly rested his arm across my shoulders. I opened my eyes and looked over at him. He was staring at the TV, his eyes glazed over and a bored look on his face. He hadn't even looked at me since I'd set foot in his room.

I decided I didn't need to wait around for Gerard to make the first move, sitting up and grabbing his shoulders, pulling him towards me, our lips meeting almost instinctively. He kissed back after a moment and I swung my leg over him, straddling him. Gerard pulled back, looking up at me in surprise. "Where did that come from?" he said, smirking slightly.

"Don't say a fucking word." I muttered, reattaching my lips to his. Gerard pushed me off of him, rolling us both over and switching positions. I made a displeased noise and glared up at him. He took no notice, just put his hands over both of my wrists, pinning them down on his mattress. I looked up at him, bearing my teeth and actually letting out an audible growl. Gerard smirked again, kissing and biting on my neck. An involuntary moan tumbled out of my mouth through my gritted teeth as I tried to get him off me. I was starting to get frustrated with him. Just for once, _I _wanted to feel I was in control of something, anything. "Gerard..." I whined. He looked down at me, the playful smile fading from his face as he saw me, staring up at him pleadingly.

"What..?" he asked, letting go of my wrists and standing up. "Frank, are you okay?"

"No, but thanks for noticing." I spat at him, standing up and going to the door.

"Wh... Frank!" I heard Gerard's footsteps following me. I ignored him, stuffing my feet into my shoes and wrenching the door open. "Stop! What did I do?"

I slammed the door shut, angry tears spilling down my face, sprinting down the road. I stopped a street or two away, unsure of where I was. It didn't matter – I didn't want to find my way back home or back to Gerard's house. I didn't want to be around anyone. I began walking, still trying to even up my breathing, sniffling and wiping the tears from my face as I walked. I walked for so long I lost track of time and where I was. Eventually I reached the edge of a small forest, which was really more of a fairly large cluster of trees than anything, but it was more appealing than the streets of Jersey, which was the only alternative. I made my way to the centre, where the trees were quite dense, providing a fair amount of shelter from the wind, and where the leaves were thick enough that they blocked out most of the grey sky, the shadows on the ground like lace, with small patches of dark then light. I sat my self down on the ground so I was leaning up against a tree, and pulled the little bag out of my pocket. I found some papers scrunched up at the bottom of my pocket and straightened them out as best I could. It would do. I rolled a joint and lit it, bringing it to my lips as I carefully put the rest of the weed back in my pocket. I could already feel myself starting to relax a little bit as I exhaled out of the corner of my mouth. I put my headphones in and turned them up as loud as they would go, closing my eyes as I leaned my head back against the tree and took another drag.

**A/N: Review and I'll send you your very own Frank Iero or something. Seriously though, a few more reviews would be very much appreciated. Feedback really does motivate me to write more. XO**


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